Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Ender's Last Diary Entry (#5)- a total of 10 points

Dear Diary,
I feel that this may be one of my last diary entries in a while because there are so many troubling things going on here at Battle School and writing them down in this book just puts them into an even worse perspective for me. In my last entry I was so happy that I had finally found something that was actually right here at Battle School: my after-hour practice sessions. There were many new Launchies and kids from my Launch group that had just recently been put in armies who were coming out. We had the best maneuvering techniques ever. I went to my practices to feel good, happy and to feel like I was doing something beneficial and helpful at Battle School, because those emotions are pretty hard to come by here. But last night when I was in a happy state of mind during one of those practices, some of the older boys came and started watching us. I knew that those boys could be dangerous and I spotted Bernard among them, but I thought that they were just watching us to admire our skills. I couldn't have been more wrong. One by one they started joining us in the zero-gravity room and not to learn our techniques but to hurt us. After only a couple short minutes blood was pouring out of my boy's noses and ears. We were a good so-called army but, those boys where mostly twice our age and at least twice our size. I ordered the non-injured boys into formation and we finally, after many struggling attempts, managed to finish those older boys off. That was something I regret doing. Now I wonder how many enemies I have. It's unbelievable how many students hate me or are scared of me. I might as well be known as a killing machine, but that's not the reputation I want. I wish I could start over again but I can't. The past has already happened and in my case, the teachers have probably already planned out my future. Most likely a lonely, frightful and painful future.
Sincerely,
Ender

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